


Anytime

by Firelight47



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abused Dean Winchester, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bonding over music, Depressed Castiel, Depressed Dean Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 18:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15846816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firelight47/pseuds/Firelight47
Summary: Castiel is depressed and has closed himself off for most of the school year until one Dean Winchester notices him and tries to help out. But Castiel ends up helping Dean as well.





	Anytime

Castiel walked through the hallway with his head down and earbuds in. He went unnoticed by everyone, and that was okay with him. He didn't mind not having anyone to walk with or talk to, it meant he wouldn't have anyone to disappoint if he ever decided to end his life. He'd contemplated it many times, not that he'd tell anyone. Castiel didn't want their pity, pity that would come across as kindness but was always just pity. He'd told his parents but they just wanted to put him on antidepressants and hope that would fix him. They filled out the prescription but the pills didn't help. He didn't think they would. Nothing would.

He reached his next class and sat in the very back corner. He kept his earbuds in and barely followed along with the lesson. He didn't try to do well in his classes because he didn't think he'd make it through high school. He just suffered through the days alone and depressed with thoughts of ending it all filling the silence that wasn't filled by music. That's all that Castiel did anymore, listen to music. He just picked a playlist and let it go through the entire day and, if it was a good one, through the week. It was comforting, something he could always rely on. 

By the time lunch came around, Castiel chose to sit in the library away from everyone else. He grabbed a book and pretended to read it while listening to the lyrics of his newest playlist when another guy came up to the table he was at and sat down. Castiel was fairly certain the kid was new to the school, so he thought maybe the guy was just trying to avoid the mass of people asking him a bunch of questions. But instead, he placed his lunch tray on the table and started talking. Looks like the new kid was going to be the one asking the questions. Castiel took out an earbud and sighed.

"Hi, I'm Dean."

"Hello Dean, I'm Castiel."

"What are you listening to?"

"Nothing interesting," Castiel showed Dean his screen with the song, _Rain_ by _The Script_ playing. 

"No way, I love that song." Dean smiled.

"Really?" 

"Yeah, when I listened to it on repeat for, like, a week."

"I don't know if it's that good," Castiel took out his other earbud.

"How could you criticize my music taste like that?" Dean laughed.

"You're the one that sat down and started talking."

"You're the one who showed me what you were listening to, you could've just said 'Go away' and avoided all of this," Dean smiled.

"Hey, I took out my headphones for you. I don't do that for just anyone. Don't tempt me to put them back in."

"Well I must say, I'm honored." 

"Yeah, you should be." 

"What makes me so special?"

"That's a good question." Castiel said, not wanting to reveal that Dean was one of the only people in the school to ever talk to him _voluntarily_.

"Okay fine, don't tell me that. How about you just tell me a little bit about yourself?" Dean leaned forward a bit in his chair.

"What's there to tell?"

"Everything since I've just met you."

"Why don't you tell me about yourself?"

"Because I asked you first."

Cas was about to say something when the bell rang, ending lunch. 

"Ah man, saved by the bell. Why don't we pick this up tomorrow? Here's my cell number, maybe we can hang out this weekend?" Dean scribbled down his number on a napkin.

"Yeah, sure." Cas stood up and offered his hand. Dean shook it and then walked out of the library, leaving Cas with his thoughts; though, they were on the positive side now.

Castiel tried not to think about his conversation with Dean. He enjoyed it, but if he was being honest, he didn't want to get too attached. It hadn't gone well the past few time he'd tried to make friends. They'd left him or yelled at him or distanced themselves from him because Castiel was too depressed or they couldn't handle it if Castiel decided to kill himself. That was just eighth grade year. Now he's a junior, having gone two years with little to no social interaction and some guy just wandered in and talked to him. And Cas let him, even worse, Cas liked it. He liked having someone to talk to, who understood his sarcasm and laughed with him about it. It wasn't a long or meaningful conversation but it meant a lot to Cas. 

*************************  
Dean Winchester came from a broken home. His mother died when he was four, which sent his father, John, into an alcoholism "phase" which was still going strong. Dean's little brother, Sam, had been barely six months old and without his father there, Dean had to pick up the slack for both parents. He'd never let Sam know but Dean had fallen into a deep pit of self hatred because of their father. Dean always made sure Sam was in his room before their dad came home, because Dean knew that John would be beyond drunk and would always insult and beat up anyone in his way. And Dean wouldn't let Sam take any of it, so he'd always be the one to greet their dad at the door when he came home, but instead of being happily greeted back, he'd be shoved out the way and asked if there was any food left. Dean tried to classify it as him being an abusive drunk, but he'd been like that even when he was sober. 

He'd moved school so suddenly because his old one was close to figuring out what was happening in his home. The bruises had become more noticeable and Dean seemed to sink away from the other kids at school, rather than talk to them. He had to admit the counselors were good, but he couldn't let Sam lose both his parents. Not when Dean could keep him unaware of what was happening. Sam was only 12, he didn't need to know about all of it. So Dean filled out the transcripts and forged his father's signature, letting both of them switch schools in the middle of the year. It didn't go without suspicion but Dean covered up all his tracks as nicely as he could. 

He officially came back to school on Friday, which is where he realized he had to put on a sort of fake persona. He had to be the cool jock who everyone could talk to. He was athletic and good looking, so of course he'd have to join whatever sport was happening at the time. He already put this sort of act on at home, he could do it at school too.

His only reprieve would be at lunch, where he could hide out in the library and just listen to music and forget about the world. That was before he saw Castiel, sitting alone at the farthest table from the door, head propped up in his hand, blankly staring at an uneaten sandwich with headphones hanging out of his ears. Dean knew that exact pose, he'd sat that way at his old school almost every period. Dean decided that maybe this guy was going through something close to what he was going through, and took a chance by sitting with him.

And boy, was he glad he did. Not only did Cas have a great taste in music, but he was kind of cute too. 

Dean had come to terms with his sexuality during sophomore year, and he'd been fine with it. But if one thing was for sure, his dad would not be. So he kept it a secret, brought home a girl every now and then, the occasional guy; always referred to as a friend, of course. And doing so kept John from asking questions as to whether or not Dean was straight. 

He knew he'd jumped the gun a little when giving out his phone number after only talking for a half hour but it was a new school and he needed some friends. A friend at least. And when Castiel called him later that day, Dean hoped he would be that friend.

***************************  
Castiel invited Dean over to study with him on Saturday. And Dean showed up. Cas wanted a friend just as much as Dean, he just didn't know it yet.

"Hello Dean," Castiel gestured for Dean to come in.

"Hey Cas," Dean smiled. 

"So I was thinking maybe we could finish that conversation from yesterday?" 

"I was thinking the exact same thing."

They walked to Castiel's room and Dean set down his backpack. 

"So, Cas, tell me about yourself."

"Well, I've lived here my whole life and when I've always wanted to be a pilot."

"A pilot, huh? You like flying?"

"Yes, I've only ever been once but it was so exciting."

"I am absolutely petrified of flying. I will not fly unless I'm forced to."

"How sad, you won't fly on any of my future flights," Cas laughed. _What future flights? Its not like I'm going to make it out of high school anyways_ Cas thought, and his smile disappeared.

"Hey man, what happened? Your smile just kind of vanished." Dean looked concerned. _Why would anyone would be concerned about me? I'm useless_ Castiel thought. His breath started quickening. He knew what was about to happen. He was about to have a panic attack. First the strings of negative thoughts, then the breathing. Why now? Of all the times, it had to be when his new friend was there. Now Dean was going to leave or pity Castiel but not actually want to help. Cas felt tears building in his eyes. He clenched them shut. There was no stopping it now. He felt frozen to the spot, like he couldn't do anything. He glanced over and didn't see Dean. He left, of course. They always left whenever Castiel got like this. He was ready to curl up and let the attack take its course when he felt someone grab his hands.

"Hey Cas, I know you can hear me. Just breathe, okay? Everything's okay. Look at me," Castiel opened his eyes to meet Dean's. "Good, now what were you thinking about? If you're ready to talk, I usually want to talk about it right after it happens, to get it off my chest. But I know everyone's different so when you're ready." Dean moved so he was sitting next to Cas. He put his arm around Cas and rubbed his shoulder in an attempt to console him. 

Castiel's breathing was still staggered but he attempted to answer Dean, "I was just thinking... just thinking that you were probably going to... going to leave me. Because of this. Because I'm useless. It's stupid I know." Cas pulled his arms closer to his chest.

"No it's not stupid, I know how you feel. But I wouldn't leave you, especially not like this. I know what that can do to a person, and I'm sorry if other have done that to you, but I won't."

"Thank you, Dean." 

"No problem, Cas. Does this, the panic attacks, happen a lot? Sorry if that's too personal."

"No it's fine. I usually have one a day, at least. Sometimes its worse, fewer times is it better." 

"If you ever need to talk, I'm here. I know what you're going through."

"You do? The new kid who's already friends with everybody?" Castiel realized how harsh he sounded but before he could say something, Dean was already talking.

"I put on this sort of face, I show it to the whole world. The happy jock kid who can do anything. I show it to everyone, all the time. The only person to see me without it is my little brother, Sam. Well, I guess you know too," Dean forced a small laugh. "But I've gone through so much, its hard to keep it up. Which is why I had to move schools, the counselors were starting to ask questions regarding my 'home life' and if they ever found out..." Dean realized what he's just said. "Not that, not that it's, uh... I shouldn't have said anything. Are you feeling better?"

"No Dean, its okay. I won't tell anyone, I swear." Cas smiled and Dean relaxed a little. He took off his jacket and showed Cas the bruise on his left bicep.

"My dad came home one night, drunk as always, and I guess he didn't like the way I greeted him 'cause he hit me. He's done worse, but it usually waits until I've started asking about his day." Cas gaped at the bruise. 

"Your dad really just, hit you?" Cas asked.

"Yeah, but he's done it since I was six. I'm used to it by now. I gotta keep Sammy safe, so as long he has a normal childhood it's worth it."

"Dean, it's not worth it. You've been abused for _ten years_ , that's... that's insane."

"You swore you wouldn't tell. Cas, please don't. If you care about me at all, don't tell anyone. Please." Dean's eyes had layers of worry behind them. Castiel knew he was serious.

"I won't. I promised. It's just... If you ever need somewhere to stay, you and Sam, you can stay here."

"Really?" Dean smiled, like a little kid who found a puppy under the Christmas tree. Castiel was saddened at how excited Dean was just to have a place to stay where he wouldn't be hit or hurt.

"Of course, Dean." He smiled.

"I guess we're both a couple of messed up kids, huh?"

*******************************  
Dean and Castiel became almost inseparable from that day on. And with each other's company, they could finally talk about all the things going on in their lives. From depression to test grades, anything was open. They hung out all the time and with that, Dean realized he really _did_ like Castiel. And after a couple months, Dean decided it was time to tell Cas. He knew what it could mean for their relationship but Cas had already told Dean that he was gay. And in turn, Dean had come out to Cas as bi, so maybe there was a chance. He was going to tell Cas that that Saturday.

Only that's not what happened.

When Dean was woken up that morning by yelling. And...crying. He jumped out of bed and ran into the kitchen, where John was standing over Sam, spitting out insults. 

"You'll never go to college, you're no where near smart enough. Look at you, cowering away from your ol' man. You'll never survive in the real world." John snarled.

"Dad... stop..." Sam sobbed.

Dean ran over and pushed John away from Sam. "Sam go to your room, and uh," he handed Sam his phone, "call Cas, tell him we're in trouble." He patted Sam on the shoulder and Sam sprinted out of the room, just in time for John to saunter over and smack Dean across the face.

"What're you thinking shoving your old man like that?! Have some respect, Dean!" 

"Respect?! _Respect?!_ You don't deserve my respect! You've beat me and insulted me and made me hate myself! And I've taken every blow! But not anymore, today you've crossed the line. You told me to make sure Sammy was safe, but I never knew I'd have to keep him safe from _you_. You may have corrupted me but I won't let you corrupt him. So we're leaving! We'll be back for our clothes and things but that's it! Goodbye, John." Dean walked out the room and into Sam's.

"Sammy, you okay?" Dean asked, sitting down by Sam.

"I'm okay. I just didn't know he was... like that." 

"Yeah, I tried to protect you from that side of him. What did Cas say?"

"He said his dad and him are on their way over, I've been watching out the window but I haven't seen them yet." 

"Alright, pack your things. We're going to be staying over there for a while."

"Okay."

"Oh and Sammy, whatever he said to you... don't believe him. He's just a dick who's drunk half his brain cells away." Sam nodded as he packed his bag. Dean went into his room and packed a suitcase when Sam came in.

"Hey Dean? Cas just showed up." 

"Thanks Sammy," Dean closed his suitcase and picked it up, "Let's go."

They walked downstairs, Dean keeping Sam behind him in case John decided to come at them again. They didn't see him, and Dean assumed he went to get more beer. THey walked out to the Novak's car and got inside. Cas got in the back with Dean and let Sam sit up front with Mr. Novak.

"Thanks for coming, Cas." Dean looked and sounded exhausted. Dean also had a bruise on his right cheek bone from where John had hit him.

"It's no problem, Dean. I said anytime and I meant it."

Dean struggled to keep his eyes open and he dosed off, his head resting on Cas's shoulder. The Novak's house was fifteen minutes away but Cas wished it was longer. Dean looked so peaceful. Cas's heart skipped a beat looking at him. He wanted Dean to be able to stay there forever, but they eventually reached Cas's house and he knew he had to wake Dean. Sam and Mr. Novak got out of the car after Cas let them know he'd be right in.

Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair, "Hey Dean. We're here. You have to wake up now." Dean stirred and opened his eyes. He realized how he'd fallen asleep and quickly sat up.

"Oh I'm sorry, Cas. I didn't meant to-"

"It's okay, Dean. I don't mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course," Castiel smiled. "Now, let's go inside. You can tell me about what happened."

Dean nodded and they climbed out of the car. Dean checked on Sam and made sure he was okay before going to Cas's room to tell him what went down.

Dean sat on the bed and Cas sat beside him. Dean still sounded tired when he started talking, "So basically what happened was that my dad was yelling at Sam and Sam was crying and my dad just kept getting louder and louder which woke me up. So I ran out into the kitchen and got in between them and told Sam to call you. I told my dad off and then we packed our stuff. I don't know how long we'll be staying and we can leave whenever. I have enough money to get us by in-"

"No Dean, you can stay here as long as you need. But I've broken my promise not to tell anyone about it. I don't know what my dad's going to do with the information but he knows."

"That's okay. Like I said, thanks for helping us out." Dean grabbed Cas's hand and leaned his head against Cas's shoulder. 

"Anytime, Dean." Cas leaned his head against Dean's.

"Oh, and Cas?"

"Yeah?"

"I really like you. Like a lot." 

"I like you too, Dean." Cas smiled. He might've been more shocked if they hadn't already been holding hands.

"Really?"

"Ever since that first time you came over and helped my down from that panic attack."

"I've liked you since our first conversation in the library," Dean grinned.

"Are you trying to one-up me?"

"No, I'm too tired for that."

"You must be pretty damn tired then.

"Yeah, pretty damn tired," Dean laughed but it was exhausted. 

"Do you want to lie down?"

"Will you stay with me?"

"Of course." Cas nodded and Dean flopped onto the pillow near the bedside table. Cas lied down beside him and planted a light kiss to the top of Dean's head. Dean turned in and put his head on Cas's shoulder. 

"Thank you, Cas."

"Anytime."

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic full of my favorite tropes that I hope you all enjoyed. I really liked writing this so I hope you guys like reading it, and as always any comments and kudos are appreciated :)


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